Monday, August 23, 2010

Dee Ef Dub-a-ya

Dee Ef Dub-a-ya or Dallas Fort Worth or Dogs Fly Worldwide – I have never seen a dog at the airport before, perhaps you have –today I have seen 5 in the last hour, mostly the rat dog type, but sitting here at the airport – a bit lonely I am wondering why I didn’t bring mans best friend with me –my little jack Russell would’ve taught these scrawny lap dogs a thing or two and provided me with both entertainment and company! Speaking of Jack, I am currently accompanied by my good friends Johnny, Jack and Jim –it’s Ok the coke’s diet! But my burger, chips and ben and jerrys wasn’t and I can highly recommend a new flavour to me anyway – ‘whirled peace’ du get it? –the irony, in America!

Oh no, the woman squeezed into jeans 2 sizes too small with a cling film t-shirt and bad skin, complete with rat dog under one arm (that she’s been ‘kissing’ for the last ½ hour) is off to the toilet, sorry, bairthroom –that’s put me right off –her or the dog, or both I wonder-I haven’t seen any doggy toilets after all.

So just a note before i leave on the US throwaway nation, I can’t wait to get home to use a china plate and silver (or cheaper metal replacement) cutlery. I only drunk from a vessel I didn’t throw away at the pub, all other drinks have been served in cardboard, foam or plastic cups or bottles (some overwrapped in more plastic). The little cutlery I have been offered (never knives and usually it’s assumed you’ll just use your hands) has been pressed out of various ‘biodegradeable’ materials – I can’t help but think time team might still be digging these up next century, this morning I ate my fruit salad and yoghurt with such a spoon and a cardboard bowl which had the effect or nails down a blackboard on my nerve endings. There were about 30 people on my course this week, all pretty organic world conscious types and every time ‘toxic chemicals’ were mentioned I had to laugh inside as they all sipped from the petrochemical drinks containers, finished and tossed another in the trash – beautiful! It amazed me how much rubbish we generated in a day all to save someone the effort of washing up or stacking the dishwasher in the fully equipped kitchen 2 metres away. I also can’t pass up the opportunity to hint that my colleagues on this course happily sipped coffee – about the most carcinogenic material the human body comes into contact with –I’d rather drink my toxic chemicals thank you, at least they’ve been tested.

The TV is enough to frighten the life out of you, about 20 channels last night, 4 with sport, 2 shopping, 5 about police, prisons and murders, 4 medical dramas, 1 film, 2 cartoon and 1 comedy –does this seem balanced to you, I’ve never seen so many guns on TV and real dead bodies, they can’t show naked people but murdered, dead people’s Ok? – scary stuff, especially when you think you recognise your motel. My constitutions is not being eased now either as the D-part-ment for homeland security patrolling complete with tasar, mace, baton, cuffs, mobile and handgun attached to their belts – any more inventions and they’ll all have to put on another stone to fit it on!
...and in case you were wondering about the pictures - these were some neat things I saw at the Oregon Garden -just to brighten it up!

1 comment:

  1. I'm luvin' it. Keep up the good work - I am amused!

    ReplyDelete